Thoughts after Thanksgiving

We had a pretty pleasant Thanksgiving here at Shelva Lane. For one, I was really prepared and didn't need to rush around. Mom seemed to really like cooking, the dinner came out wonderfully , Seth ate with us and we all laughed and enjoyed the meal. It was the best part of the time we had with Seth.
Sadly, we don't see much change with him. He spent most of his time contacting people. As the time went by, he got more and more agitated. By this morning, he was all wound up. Snapped at us, was rude, demanding, well the same old same old. It will never stop hurting. I decided to write him a note and send it off to him. Hope this week brings some kind of turn around. He will have to learn the bus, a whole new life for him.
Enough of this. Think I will go to Pat Catan for the advent candles.
Reminded Seth of how much God still loves him, no matter what.
Hold him and love him, Lord.

a new kind of normal,not sure

Still not sure how I feel about blogging. Needed to read about how Carol Kent dealt with the hopes , then the hopes being dashed. I need to release my feelings that I somehow can change my son's character and desire to make it. Is he scared.....is it comfort level...... What needs to happen to get him to be confident in himself? I so want him to succeed and I just see him content to be cared for. I love him too much to do this. i am sad and I dont' even know why Im writing here! to whom to me>

From Thomas Merton

This helps me to keep perspective with those around me, especially my family.

It is useless to try to make peace with ourselves by being pleased with everything we have done.
In order to settle down in the quiet of our own being we must learn to be detached from the results of our own activity. We must withdraw ourselves, to some extent, from effects that are beyond our control and be content with the good will and the work that are the quiet expression of our inner life. We must be content to live without watching ourselves live, to work without expecting an immediate reward, to love without an instantaneous satisfaction, and to exist without any special recognition.

here I go

I have to admit, I don't really know what I am doing here. It just felt like it was time to start this. Will check back later!